Doctor's visit

No bruises, no explanation needed for the doctor. But there was a lot I wanted to say.

Sometimes doctors ask questions that are hard to answer. This happened during my visit Monday. One of her first questions was, ‘Are you sexually active?’ I wasn’t sure how to answer. That’s a very vague question. Which encounter was she asking about in particular, sleepy Sunday morning wake up sex or a wild Friday afternoon session?

There are too many variables. I mean, how active can you really be when you’re tied to the four corners of the bed? Sure, you can do a little twisting and wiggling, but would you call that active? Now if she’d asked is Nick sexually active, I could have told her, ‘Sure! He swings a mean strap. He’s reasonably good about changing sides of the bed if he’s using the belt. And he seems to always be heading back into the closet for a different implement. During this part, he’s very active while I’m merely pulling at the restraints.’

But on the chance she only wanted to know whether or not we engaged in sex, I simply told her yes.

There was another question I really wanted to answer in detail. She asked, ‘Are you ever abused at home? Does anyone ever hit you?’ These were asked as if they were the same questions although we all know that’s far from the truth. The answer I wanted to give her was, ‘No, I’ve never been abused. But as for being hit –

hardly ever, dammit! And don’t think I haven’t complained about this oversight. Sometimes I go weeks, months with no spanking. Recently I’ve begun emailing Nick my complaints. We’re talking about it and I certainly hope there are more spankings in my future. But honestly, he’s bad to forget and let it go.’

But once again, in case she wasn’t familiar with this wonderful dynamic, I just told her no.

If doctors would only learn to listen to what’s not being said, their patient visits could be so much more interesting.

* Since several have mentioned this in comment, I'll elaborate. This has only happened in the past few years. But now at EVERY doctor's visit I am asked if I'm abused at home and if I'm depressed and if I've had any thoughts of harming myself. When I took Nick to the ER three years ago I remember they asked him if he was abused. I thought it was stupid to ask him if his spouse was abusing him in front of the spouse.